losing another part of me​.​.​.

by mustoek



the first of three albums written this year "losing another part of me" is a journey into painterly soundscapes, noise, and weaving cerebral passages of hospitalized chaos and uneasiness.

this album documents the hospitalized stage. songs such as "el cap" and "driving the sleep" lead you along winding paths of physical degradation and slipping grasps at reality. While "wind-up bird", "casting memories" and "sweet constellations" paint you vivid pictures of hope and dignity. mixed in are songs such as "waking up swollen" which bring you face to face with the physical and emotional struggle between perseverance and defeat.

each song paints you into a moment; that moment of realization and recollection where convergence and metaphor become your guide.

to be played at maximum volume...enjoy with headphones, enjoy with good speakers; but, please don't just listen to it with your smart phone speakers!


released August 9, 2016

album art: mustoek
lyrics: mustoek
music: mustoek
engineering: mustoek
mixing: mustoek
arrangements: mustoek
production: mustoek
all instruments except where listed: mustoek



all rights reserved


mustoek Hamilton, Ontario

painterly sounds, meanderIng noise and melodic hooks in post-modern structures.

mustoek is a cerebral artist. musical influences include: philosophy, politics, literature, art, cynicism and society.

If you like bowie, the smiths, radiohead, neil young, dinosaur jr. ,mbv and indie, and alternative acts that embrace noise, punk, ambient and garage aesthetic elements then you are at home.
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Track Name: your spinal staircase...
up your spinal staircase to your heart
where it all falls apart
down the spinal staircase
to where it all starts
why do we fall apart
why do we
where does it all start
Track Name: waking up swollen...
have you ever woken yourself up
just to see if it was really you,
have you ever done that...

thinking its you
thinking it me
thinking it just can't be true
thinking it just can't be
its all gotta be a dream...
Track Name: losing another part of me...
i can't go on
i can't wait to see
another limb
cut from the tree

no subtlety in futility
no subtlety in hostility
steeped in fragility
with no viability
flexibility, reliability, virility, no nobility in acceptability
just rigidity
no dignity for my disability
just acidity, infinity
implicitly a simile
and flippantly and indifferently my immunodeficiency
and my super-conductivity

...as i lose another part of me

...another limb cut from the tree
Track Name: casting memories...
Track Name: sweet constellations take your time...
holy stars with the world as their eyes
far away
night and day they shine
don't ever leave me her behind
take me with you to a world that is kind
sweet constellations take your time
unfold my map like you unfold my mind
i will follow you to worlds untold
undress me here as try and grow cold
and leave me as i get old...
Track Name: infected sleep...
a heavy brain
a heavy heart
lead face sky
words unsaid

a fire word
your fire face
your Janus touch
never traced

a judged desire
drained senses
my hanging heart
my hands are missing

staghead tree
your sterile stance
walk the halls
walk on the wings

...an infected sleep...
Track Name: orbiting orange lights...
my way, my day
remember i didn't wait
...it's my way back

my satellite dead brain
convalescing in ruins tonight
my rain red radiator
orbiting here in an orange light
you said never to let go
but you won't know
Track Name: wind-up bird in a well...
wind up
in a well
by himself
he knows
through the wall
wind up
little freak
take me through the wall
into room
with a baseball bat
my only escape
Track Name: driving the sleep from mind...
driving the sleep from my mind
doing what is assigned
hide me with the confined
they are misaligned
my love has been lionized
my thoughts incised
we have realized
our blood has been ionized

driving the sleep from my mind
doing whats been assigned
thoughts of others lives
they are beguiled and compromised

driving the sleep from my mind
it s all been ascribed
what you have has been minimized
love has been compromised
you and i
are silken eyed
we wait with the polarized
we are agonized
thats why
I'm driving the sleep from my mind
Track Name: mr methadone man and vader's breathing machine
Track Name: modulated pride...
i can't run
hide from the sun
i can't win
only hide within

where have you been
my life is within
Track Name: el capistan battles particle and the context
i know i am slipping away
ever so gently
losing myself in this novel by murakami
between the lines
i see snow and trees
like a dream
time follows me
i know the room is rolling and the road is moving
I'm trying to hold on but my hands and feet are swollen
what am i to do

tap tempo and and tape echo...

woman on the train
i see you
women in the house
i know you too
drink me across the ocean dressed with this side to side motion

tap me on my shoulder
tap me I'm older
tap me when i am colder
never never never never...

tap tempo and tape echo
red panda she has it all
and the particle she gonna let it go
context is gonna battle before she falls
tap tap tap tap